These Things I'll Never Say
by MizzMoris
Summary: He never wanted it to end this way... life was good, why did this have to happen to him? Alone, fading into darkness, leaving behind the only thing that made him feel whole. AU. Zemyx.
1. Get OUT!

**A/N: **well hello again. this idea just hit me without warning and i had to write it. Originally, it was supposed to be a oneshot but when i looked at my outline i realized it was far too long and wouldn't flow right. so, this will be uploaded in a few chapters, most likely four or five, no more than that. i hope you all like this but i'm warning you now, this will have dark themes like character death, self harm and suicidal thoughts. for now, the rating is teen, but if it gets too dark or mature i WILL change the rating. hope that didnt scare you away.

**disclaimer: **i own nothing besides this idea, so yeah, cant think of anything witty to say.

ONWARD WITH THE STORY!

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**These Things I'll Never Say**

'What a day,' the tall blonde thought to himself as he pushed through the doors to his apartment building's lobby. He sighed quietly and walked over to the elevators. He pushed the little arrow that was pointing up to call the elevator before leaning against the wall. All he wanted to do was go up to his room, fall on his bed and sleep. But he knew that wasn't possible.

The door dinged, signaling the arrival of the elevator. Demyx pushed away from the wall and stepped into the empty car, pressing the '13' button before leaning against the wall. Yup, Axel was due back at their shared apartment in a half an hour and he would be expecting a dinner of some sort. Just one of these days, Demyx wanted to be able to come home from his strenuous office job and be able to relax without having to worry about his strong-headed boyfriend.

Hell, the only thing he wanted more than that was to leave his boring desk job and take to the road with his music. Ever since he had graduate from high school with all his friends three months ago, he and Axel had moved into Demyx's apartment and Demyx became the sole source of income. He had had to stay and support Axel, leaving his music dreams far, far behind.

Sure, Axel had his job, if you could call it that. He worked as a bar tender in a small, local bar and wasted what little he made on alcohol and parties.

Again, the elevator dinged, telling Demyx he had reached his floor. Sighing again, the blonde teen pulled away from the wall and exited the elevator. 'Hm, wonder if he'd like spaghetti, or maybe just a simple salad?' These thoughts occupied Demyx's mind the whole walk down the hall to his door.

He reached into his pocket to fish out his keys when he noticed his door was slightly ajar. 'That's odd,' he thought. 'I could have sworn I locked the door when I left and Axel isn't due home for at least a half an hour?'

Shrugging his shoulders, Demyx grabbed the handle and pushed it open. He narrowed his eyes at the room. Something was off. A small lamp was on next to the couch that Demyx knew had not been on that morning. 'Why would someone break in?' Demyx looked back at the door. There were no signs of a struggle. The lock wasn't broken and neither was the wood surrounding it.

Wait, what was that? Demyx whirled around to face the hallway. He peered into its dark depths with an odd look on his face. He could have sworn he heard something from down the hall, in particular, his and Axel's room.

Slowly, he walked down the hall as silently as possible, his heart hammering in his chest. He kept running through his head what you were supposed to do when you were facing an intruder. His thoughts were brought to a direct halt, however, when he noticed two things at the front of the hall.

There were two pairs of shoes strewn carelessly in the dark shadows of the short hallway. One, a dark read and black pair, belonged to Axel. The other, black and white checkers, was unknown to him. Demyx tried to calm his erratic breathing. 'So Axel just brought a friend home. That's it.' Demyx allowed his face to relax as he made his way farther down the hall to his room, where most of the noise was coming from.

However, not five steps later, all hope was dashed. Littering the floor just outside his shut bedroom door, was a shirt that Demyx had seen on Axel that morning and a much smaller black vest and white jacket. Demyx stooped and picked up the black shirt embossed with the name of the bar where Axel worked and brought it to his face. Yup, this was Axels.

Demyx felt a tear slip from his eye. What was Axel doing? Just then, a loud moan echoed out from the room. Demyx's head flew up and he felt his face turn down in a frown. He narrowed his eyes and felt a burning anger build in his chest that he hadn't felt in three years; since his parents had drunk themselves to death and left him there to fend for himself at only sixteen.

The enraged blonde threw the offending black shirt down and picked up the black vest, wringing it in his hands. He felt the red heat of furry build in his chest again and he raised his foot and kicked the door with all his strength. He stormed into the dark room and flipped the lights on.

A startled cry rang out from the large bed in the middle of the room. Demyx glared at the red haired man who was sitting on the bed, grinning smugly. Beside him, was a much shorter blonde, who, like Axel, was looking at Demyx with a smug smirk, though he looked slightly shaken, making it obvious he had been the one to cry out at the sudden intrusion. Both the men were shirtless, though their pants were unzipped and unbuttoned; doing little to hide their growing problems.

"Hey Demyx. Come to join the party?" This drew a small laugh from the other blonde. His bright blue eyes gleamed and mocked Demyx as he stared at the two. As Axel's own green eyes brightened at some unspoken joke, Demyx felt something inside him snap.

"WHAT THE HELL, AXEL! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHO IS THIS?" Demyx flew over to his boyfriend and threw the black vest in his face. His sea green eyes bored into Axel's emerald green. "I'm waiting, Axel," he spat.

"This?" he said pointing to the boy beside him. "This is my new boyfriend, Roxas." His taunting smile grew more vile as the meaning of his words finally hit home. He watched, amused as the teen before him slowly fell apart at the seams.

"You- your what?"

"I'm his boyfriend," Roxas said, speaking for the first time. Demyx immediately hated the sound of his voice.

"What?" he asked again, his voice breaking slightly. He stumbled back a few steps, his brain still not wrapping around what Axel was saying.

"You heard me. He's leaving your ass and coming to me. Said he needed a _real _man. Not a wuss like you."

"You're leaving?" Even to him, his voice sounded weak.

Axel grinned, a feral smile overtaking his angular face, making his teardrop tattoos jump on his face.

" 'Fraid so. You just aren't cutting it anymore. We were just, _enjoying _ourselves until you came home so I could tell you, grab my stuff and leave." Again, he turned to the small blonde beside him and grinned.

That grin completely broke what was left of Demyx's heart. No, it didn't break it; it pulled it out, pummeled it with a hammer and sent it through a grinder before blending it into a mush. All that was left was unbridled furry.

"Get out!" he yelled, his voice horse from the tears he was fighting to keep back. "Take your shit and leave with that scum that will never love you!"

"I thought you'd never ask." Still grinning, Axel rose from the bed, grabbed a duffle hidden beside the bed and shouldered it. Lowering his face, he planted a firm kiss on Demyx's cheek before grabbing Roxas around the waist and leaving the room. Demyx jerked his face away, feeling the kiss burn like Hell's fire on his cheek. From halfway down the hall, Demyx heard uncontrolled, harsh laughter. The shrill sound was cut off when the door slammed, leaving Demyx alone in a silent house.

Demyx stood, trembling with anger and something else for what seemed like an eternity. Then, as the clock struck eight o'clock and a mournful sound came from the clock in the main room, Demyx, cold and numb, collapsed to the floor and let his hot tears fall.

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**A/N:** sorry its so short, its only two pages and a bit in word, unlike my normal nine or ten. POOR DEMYX! Just so you all know, I love Axel and Roxas, I just had to make them mean for the purpose of this story. I hope you liked it!! Reviews would be lovely because I didn't give this to my beta so there may very well be mistakes. Please tell me what you thought and do tell me of any mistakes you find. FLAMES ARE WELCOME! You can hate it, I'll still write it cuz I like it. End of story. also, if you ever, at any moment think i should change the rating, please drop a line.

Expect the next chapter shortly! (hopefully)


	2. Better To Feel Pain

**A/N: **wow.... that was fast! XD eh, dont get used to it. i will try to update every few days but these one day after another things... just dont get used to them.. i usually take about a week because i usually give my stuff to my beta but im not doing that with this story. so it will be updated every few days. THANK YOU TO DAMIKITTY AND JACKIE FOR THE REVIEW AND THANK YOU TO DAMIKITTY FOR THE FAVE AND FINALLY THANK YOU TO DAMIKITTY AND ANSEMMENSA FOR THE ALERTS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

phew... now that thats over... im changing the rating... things are going to get alot darker from here on out. not so much this chapter but the next few.

**Jackie~ **thank you for the review. Axel is acting like a COMPLETE jerk and i share your want to murder him right about now. but, sadly, that is just the way he needs to be, and i need him alive.... but feel free to kill him when its all done!XDXDXD

**Disclaimer~ **i dont own Kingdom Hearts, i just toy with the sexy men in it!

**onward!**

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_Five Weeks Later…_

"Demyx, please eat something. You haven't eaten anything in two days. I'm worried about you."

Demyx turned bleary green eyes on the slate haired teen peering down at him. "I'm sorry, Zexion. I'm just not hungry."

"You have to eat something. If you don't, you're just going to waste away."

"I'm sorry Zex, but I just cant."

A cool hand pressed down on Demyx's brow and slid into his dark blonde hair. Demyx sighed and closed his eyes, snuggling farther into his sheets. A small, sad smile danced onto Zexion's face as he looked at his best friend.

"Today's the day right? The anniversary of him leaving?"

Demyx nodded and a small tear slid down his cheek to soak into his blue pillow.

"I'm sorry, Dem. I know its hard on you but you have to move on. If he could break your heart that easily, he wasn't worth your love. Forget about him. You need to start living again before there's nothing left of you!"

"I cant," came the muffled reply. Demyx turned tortured blue green eyes up to Zexion's cool blue. "I loved him. It's hard to forget the first person you loved."

"I know, I know. But you have to try. He isn't good enough for you, he never was."

Demyx only nodded weakly and blew out a small breath. Zexion pulled back his hand and gathered his things. "I'll be back after my classes are over, okay? Try not to dwell on it too much. Why don't you practice some of your music? It's always helped you before."

Demyx slowly sat up and without warning, threw himself at the short teen next to him, hugging him tightly and crying into his shirt. Zexion, though startled for a few seconds, returned the embrace, pulling the distraught blonde closer to him. He felt something warm in his chest and sighed contently.

"I'll always be here, Dem. Whenever you want to talk, I'll always be here."

Demyx pulled back from the hug and looked straight into his friend's eyes. "Thank you so much, Zexy," he said quietly, wiping at his tears. "Um, Zexy?"

"Hm?"

"I'm kinda tired. Would you mind staying here 'till I fall asleep?"

A soft smile pulled at Zexion's lips and he hugged the blonde again.

"Of course, Demyx."

Demyx smiled slightly and fell back onto his bed, pulling the comforter along with him. He closed his eyes and snuggled into his pillow, sighing lightly. Zexion reached into his bag and pulled out the book he was reading for his History of English Literature class at the local college.

He had only read a few pages when soft snores told him Demyx had finally fallen asleep. He closed his book and replaced it in his bag and picked it up before heading for the door. When he reached the door, however, he put a hand to the frame and turned around. Even in sleep, Demyx still looked lost and sad and Zexion couldn't stand to see it.

He set his messenger bag on the floor and slowly walked back to the seeping blonde. He knelt next to the teen's bed and again, put a soothing hand on his forehead. Slowly, Zexion leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the other boy's head. Demyx smiled in his sleep and turned his face toward Zexion, almost as if he was searching for the comforting touch.

"Sleep well, love."

Zexion ran his hand through Demyx's silky locks before standing, picking up his messenger bag and walking out the door.

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Demyx cracked his eyes open and peered at the clock beside his bed. 11:36. He sighed and rubbed his eyes before forcing his body to sit up and wake up. After sitting like that for a minute, Demyx was coherent enough to realize something was wrong. Well, not wrong, just off, in a pleasant way. He felt warm and… happy?

He reached up and put a hand to his forehead. 'Why does it feel so warm?' Demyx shrugged and lifted himself from the bed, padding out into the kitchen. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and a glass if ice cold milk before sitting at the counter to eat it.

He wasn't even halfway finished when the phone rang, startling him and almost making him drop his bowl. With a shaky hand, he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Why hello, Demyx."

Demyx's heart froze in his chest. That voice, he knew that voice. The voice he hated that belonged to the man he hated above all else.

"Hello, Roxas," he spat.

"Aw, now is that anyway to treat me?" the other teen sneered into the phone.

"What do you want?"

"Ha, calm down, I was getting there. Axel just remembered he forgot something at your apartment. He wanted me to call and let you know."

"Did he say what is was?" Demyx asked coldly.

"Yup. Said it was some ring? A silver ring that you gave him at graduation, or something stupid like that."

Demyx's breath felt like shards of ice in his chest. He looked down at his right hand, and there was a matching ring. He closed his eyes as the painful memories resurfaced.

flashback

"_Hey Axel?"_

"_What is it babe?"_

"_I got you something, you know in honor of our graduation." _

_A warm laugh reached his ears and he felt long arms wrap around him._

"_Well, isn't that the funniest thing? I got you something too." Demyx felt Axel press a warm kiss to his neck. "You first."_

"_Um, ok." Demyx reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small box. His fingers shook as he opened it to reveal a simple silver band with etching around the outside that resembled flames. He held it up to Axel. "here, it's a promise ring. I want us to be together for ever."_

_Axel took the ring, and smiled while he laughed warmly, running his fingers through his boyfriends soft hair. "I love it," he said, slipping it on. "But now I feel lame."_

"_Why?"_

_Axel pulled a similar silver ring from his pocket, this one embossed with what looked like ocean waves. " 'Cause I got you a ring to, and you deserve something so much better than whatever you could have gotten me." He held the ring out and Demyx took it, slipping it on; a perfect fit._

"_I love it Ax."_

"_And I love you."_

end flashback

Demyx chocked back a sob as his mind returned to the phone in his hands. "Did he say where he left it?"

"Yup. In his drawer beside the bed."

"I'll go grab it. Do you want to come and pick it up?"

"What? You think Axel wanted it back?" Cold laughter filtered through the receiver as if what Demyx had said was the funniest thing ever. "No, no. He just wanted to let you know he forgot it so you could take it to a jewelers, sell it and send him the cash. He told me he never really liked it. Actually, you could probably just throw it away. It's not like _we _need the cash."

Demyx's breathing hitched as he fought a losing battle with his tears. "Thank you," he said as calmly as he could into the phone. "I'll see if I can find it."

Without waiting for a response, he took the phone away from his ear, pressed the end call button and gently set it down. With a blank mind, Demyx got up from the stool and numbly walked down the hall to his room.

He pushed the door open and walked over to the other side of the room; to the other side of the bed; to Axel's side of the bed. He opened the top drawer of the small table and immediately found what he was looking for.

Sitting on top of a stack of old magazines was a small, silver ring, embossed with flames.

Demyx held the ring up to his eyes and slowly slid his ring off his finger. He held the two side by side before closing his eyes tightly and throwing them across the room, screaming like a feral animal in immense pain.

They hit the wall with a thunk and there they stayed. Demyx lifted his head, his green eyes burning with pain and hatred. He stood and tore out of the room into the bathroom next door.

He slammed the door shut and fell back against it, feeling nothing but emptiness settle inside his chest, he was nothing but a shell. As if he was moving in slow motion, Demyx reached into the cabinet below the sink and pulled out a small mirror. He threw the small item into the wall with as much force as he could muster.

His face stretched into a sadistic grin as he watched it shatter. He picked his way over to the shards and upon finding one sharp enough to suit his needs, raked it across the exposed flesh of his arm.

Crimson blood immediately beaded and slipped from the cut making Demyx smiled a wicked smile once again.

Again and again he pulled the glass across his arm, relishing in the pain, losing himself in it…

Because feeling physical pain is better than feeling nothing at all.

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**A/N: **so what did you think? i would love to hear your thoughts and if you see mistakes (because i know those sneaky devils are there somewhere). So, Demyx is losing his mind? and Zexion loves him? what will our wonderful blond do! ONLY I KNOW!! you will just have to wait and see!! Review please! flames are welcome!!!


	3. Best Day Ever

**A/N: **hello again!! im back! you guys all pass! SO MANY REVIEWS AND FAVES AND ALERTS! YOU HAVE MADE ME A VERY HAPPY AUTHORESS! special thanks to DamiKitty, purpleshadowthief, foreverxXxsamexXx, jackie, and Dem/Zex lover for reviewing the last chapter!! i would thank everyone who faved and alerted but im lazy so i will give you all a big shout out! BROWNIES FOR YOU ALL!

**Jackie~ **im glad you thought the second chap was even better than the first!!! i hope this one doesn't disappoint! and im glad i have given you the pleasure of being acknowledged in a fic!! look up there *points up* it happened again!!! thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Dem/Zex lover~ **im glad you liked it! thank you for reviewing and i hope you like this one just as much!!

okay. so im not that great at writing this kind of thing, *points at near ending of the chapter* so please dont kill me if its badly written, just help me get better!

**Disclaimer: **dont own kingdom hearts, beauty and the beast, hairspray (the musical) or Rent. not mine. me now own. no ownage occuring here. how many others way can i say it

ONWARDS!

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Chapter Three:

Zexion finally reached the thirteenth floor and nearly flew out the door of the elevator. He hoped Demyx wasn't upset he was a little late. He had stopped by his house to grab the blonde's favorite movie, Rent, knowing it would help cheer him up.

When he reached the door, he raised his fist and knocked on the door three times. Demyx had given him a key a week before the break-up but Zexion hated just going into someone's house without an invitation. He knocked again when silence answered the door.

Zexion frowned. 'That's odd. Demyx always answers the door for me. Plus he never left, the door attendant said so.' Something had to be wrong. Zexion reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a key ring. He grinned as his fingers found the light sea blue key painted with even lighter bubbles.

He unlocked the door and stepped into the dark interior. Zexion frowned. It looked like Demyx hadn't even left his room. Zexion shook his wrist to push the sleeve back and checked his Rolex. It was just shy of two o'clock. 'Demyx should have been up hours ago. I hope nothing happened to him. I hope he didn't do anything to himself, again.'

The small teen flipped on the lights in the living room before walking down the hall. He was shocked to see the door to Demyx's room thrown open. He walked through carefully, scanning the room for his friend, becoming more worried by the second when he couldn't find him. The apartment was small, that only left the bathroom.

Zexion ran down the short hall and threw open the door, finding exactly what he was dreading.

Sitting in the middle of the floor fast asleep, his arms dark with dried blood from dozens of slash marks, was Demyx.

Zexion's eyes grew huge as he took in the sight. 'He promised!' his mind screamed at him. "He promised he would ever do it again!' He shook with anger, trying to calm himself. But he couldn't help it. Demyx had done this one other time, a week after the breakup and Zexion had made him swear to never do it again. Obviously, the blonde had forgotten.

Zexion dropped his bag and fell to his knees beside his friend. He grabbed his shoulder and shook it roughly, jolting the larger teen awake.

"Wazzit?" came the mumbled reply. Demyx cracked his eyes open and his face dropped when he saw who had woken him. "Oh. H-hey Zexy."

"Explain," Zexion said coldly, narrowing his eyes at the man beside him. He grabbed Demyx's wrist and tightened his hands around the cuts. "Now."

Demyx grimaced as a sharp pain spread up his arm. "I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," he stammered, sounding on the verge of tears. "Ro-Roxas called saying that Axel fo-forgot something and it turned out to b-be the ring I gave him and h-he told me to throw it away." The words were barely past his lips when he sagged against Zexion, the tears he couldn't shed earlier now fell, tracing tracks of water down his face, soaking into Zexion' shirt.

Zexion pulled him closer and rested his cheek in Demyx's soft hair. "How?"

"Mirror," Demyx whispered, jerking his head slightly towards the wall where he had broken it.

"Come on, Dem. Lets go fix you up." Zexion helped lift Demyx up off the cool tile and helped him down the hall to the kitchen. He set the boy on a stool and dug around under the counter for the first aid kit he had put there after the first incident. He pulled out some antiseptic and two cotton balls before spreading the medicine on the slashes. Demyx winced and tensed every time the soft cotton hit one of the cuts, stinging as it cleaned them.

When Zexion finished his ministrations, he pulled Demyx to his chest again, just holding him, hoping it would comfort the boy.

"Thanks, Zexy," the blonde said into his shoulder. "You don't have to do this."

"It's okay, Dem," he said, pulling back a bit. He reached down and gently picked up one of Demyx's hands, lifting it to chest level. "But this isn't. Demyx, this will solve nothing! You're just hurting yourself and those who love you. Don't do it anymore. I don't want to see you destroying your life."

"Why do you care, Zexy. Why do you care about worthless old me. I'm not wanted. I'm just a- OW! What was that for!?"

Zexion glare at him, his hand still raised from the slap he had just put on Demyx's cheek. "That was for lying to yourself. Don't _ever _tell yourself you are worthless, you aren't to me. I care about you, Demyx. I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself."

"What else can I do, Zexion! What else!" Demyx cried, shoving back from his friend. "Nothing works. I don't have the money for drugs or alcohol! And those just ruin your life more than I am interested in! This is the only way I can deal!"

"No its not!" Zexion replied, his voice close to shouting. "You can talk. Talk to me, Dem, I'll always listen. There are better ways of dealing. Play your music. You haven't touched your music since he left. It always made you so happy. Let it do that again. And you don't have to deal with this alone. Just find me."

"Why- why are you doing this?" Demyx stammered, staring deep into Zexion's ice blue eyes.

"I'm doing this because I care about you. Weren't you listening to a thing I just said?" Zexion asked, shaking his head slightly at his scatterbrained friend.

"I don't understand. What's so special about me for you to care about?"

Zexion sighed and put his hands on Demyx's shoulders. He looked Demyx right in the eye, trying to convey everything he felt through that searing gesture. "Everything about you is special, Dem. You're an amazing person, just a little worn around the edges. But that's easily fixed, with the right help."

"Apparently I'm not good enough. _He _still left with that scum."

"Don't judge yourself by how Axel acted. He was and will always be a bastard. He obviously didn't deserve you. And what did I just say about lying to yourself? I don't want you to. You're too good for that."

"You think? I don't."

"I do. And someday, you're gonna be able to forget Axel and what he did to you. You'll find that person who will love no matter what you have been through. The scars, emotional and physical, he'll love all of you. He's close. I'm sure of it."

"How do you know," Demyx asked quietly. He looked down at his feet, the image of defeat.

Zexion put a hand under his friends chin and gently tilted it up until their eyes met. A smile danced on Zexion's face as he leaned towards the frozen blonde. "Because I think he's right here." Demyx squeaked softly as Zexion pressed light kiss to his friend's wrist, right on the bandage above one of the worse cuts before placing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Zexion's heart soared. He was finally kissing Demyx! Something he had only dreamed of since junior year, right before Axel had asked the blonde out, ruining his chances. It was just as good, no, _better, _than he could have ever imagined.

Zexion pulled back, worried that he may have scared the unmoving blonde. Zexion put a hand to his loves cheek, his eyes filled with worry.

"Demyx? Are you okay?"

Slowly, a smile, a real smile spread across the blonde teens face.

"You kissed me," he stated.

"Yes."

"You really kissed me."

"Um, yes," Zexion said, raising an eyebrow, wondering where this was going.

Demyx giggled and put his arms around the shorter man. He pulled him close and buried his face in Zexion's neck.

"Thank you, for always being there." He leaned back and looked into Zexion's visible left eye. Still smiling, he pushed the strands of hair covering his other eye back behind Zexion's ear so he could drink in his friends beautiful eyes. "Thank you for being here." He paused a moment, chewing on hip lip before continuing in a shaky voice.

"Hey, Zexy?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, we could, um, what I mean is, could you. Jeez, how do I ask this. Zexion-mph!"

Zexion rolled his eyes and pulled Demyx's chin up, pulling him into a tender kiss. Demyx sighed into the kiss and stood from the stool, forcing Zexion to stand on tiptoe to maintain it. He wrapped his arms around the smaller teens waist further deepening the kiss, his lips caressing the others. Zexion reached up to run his hands through the musicians gold hair, smiling. Demyx grinned. Yup, he was _very _glad Zexion was right where he was, he wouldn't have it any other way.

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"Zexy. Zexy? Hey! Wake up sleepy head, I'm not a pillow." Demyx poked the teen that was currently sleeping in him on the arm. "The movie's over."

"Humph, stop Dem. Sleepy."

"Nuh-uh, wake up." Demyx poked his boyfriend's shoulder harder this time, earning him an annoyed grumble. Still Demyx smiled.

Boyfriend.

Hard to believe that a word that used to cause him so much pain could now cause him to squirm in happiness. But yet, here they were, snuggled up in his couch, watching Rent, his favorite movie. Demyx wrapped his arms around the slate haired teen on his chest and sighed contentedly. Yeah, this was nice.

"What time is it?" asked the form currently using him as a pillow slash bed.

Demyx lifted his wrist, wincing as his watchstrap scratched over his cuts. "Uh, it's about nine o'clock. Why? Do you have to go home?" he asked sadly, not wanting Zexion to go. They had had so much fun. Before watching Rent, they had watched two of Demyx's other favorite movies, Hairspray and Beauty and the Beast. He was a sucker for Disney and musicals.

"Yeah," came the mumbled reply. "I have an early class tomorrow and a little bit of homework to do," he said, slowly disentangling himself from Demyx's arms.

"What! You have homework and you let me keep you here watching movies!"

Zexion grinned at his worried boyfriend. "Chill, Dem. It's not much and I loved staying here. I'll come back after class tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Demyx said brightly, standing up. "Just don't put off homework for me."

"Okay, you have my word. But in exchange for my word, I want yours."

"Oh?"

"Yes. No more of this," he said, pointing to Demyx's bandages wrists. "No more cutting. If you get the need to, just call me. Talk about it, don't act on it."

"Okay, Zexy. You have my word."

"Good." Zexion reached forward and hugged the blonde. Demyx returned the gesture, relaxing into the hug.

After a moment, Zexion wriggled out. "I really need to go now. See you tomorrow Demyx."

"Yeah. See yah."

Zexion grinned at his boyfriend before leaving. The door made a soft click as it locked and Demyx fell to the couch, repeating the days events over and over in his head. Three words kept passing through his mind over and over again, slowly becoming his personal mantra.

Best. Day. Ever.

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**A/N: okay, be honest. how many ppl thought those three words were going to be i love you or something along those line? let me see a show of hands. lawls.**

**so how did i go? you like? you no like? please do tell. okay, so a lot of what Zex says to Demyx about talking, not cutting is based of a conversation, well several conversations my friends Kenzie had with me. and it is really true, cutting solves nothing, it just hurts yourself as well as others, let me pass that on to everyone. its not smart and is just plain destructive. also, i really need to know if you think the rating should be bumped up. more dark stuff is to come and i dont want anyone getting mad at me. oh, and that reminds me, the next chap is most likely the last one. Sorry. :(**

**so, R and R please! you such a good job last time!!! lets keep with the good work! i will update as soon as i possibly can!!!**

**RANDOM! I MADE PAUPU FRUIT PILLOWS!!! ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR MY FRIEND TAYLOR!! SHE WANTED ONE AND IT COST LESS TO MAKE THEM SO I DID!!! ok, randomness over. MizzMoris OUT!**


	4. Vow

**HI! omg, wow. its been a while hasn't it. IM SO SORRY! life has been hectic. What with exams next week and writers block and this damn chapter not wanting to be written and dealing with stupid personal issues, your are lucky inspiration struck and i felt like procrastinating on studying for math. and i lied in the last chapter. i know i told you this would be that last chapter, well, its not. there will be at least one more and an epilogue but who really knows. **

**so this is mostly filler but with a few important things. Special thanks to DamiKitty for the inspiration for the plot (and for reviewing all chapters). YOU ARE SUPER SPECIAL AWESOMENESS! **

**well, now for some review responses:**

**DemZextarts~ thanks for the review first off, and im glad you liked it. the ideas were good, but unfortunately, the plot has already been hatched in my head and it aint changing now. **

**Somebody's Nobody~ i'm glad you liked it. and i hope it isnt turning into one of those fics. and if it does, oops. but like i said, if thats the way my plot wants to go, (i am at its mercy) that is the way it will go. please dont hate my plot bunnies for it! or me for that matter ;) i only write what they tell me to!**

**Coral~ why thank you ma dear!! hope you like this chap too!**

**Jackie~ you are officially one of my fave ppl right now! you have reviewed all three chapters!! thank you! and yus, DemyxZexion yumminess!! hope this doesnt disappoint!**

**Disclaimer~ i do not own them. Not one bit. so please dont sue me... honestly. what is it with America and suing everything that breathes? **

**well, enough of my chit chatting. on with the story! enjoy. or dont. just read it please!**

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Chapter Four: Vow

Time passed. Minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days. Day turned into weeks and weeks turned into months; one month and three weeks to be exact.

Time passed… and it was the happiest time of Demyx's life.

Demyx was absolutely sure that Zexion was the greatest, most kind man on the earth. He never pushed, he let Demyx take their relationship at _his_ pace. He was there for Demyx for everything, the good and the bad. When Demyx got fired from his office job and couldn't come up with the money for the rent, Zexion let him move into his and his parents' large home.

One month after they had started going out, Zexion had helped him sign up for the classes at the same community college he attended, his parents gladly helping pay for the tuition, no matter how much Demyx protested.

Zexion's parents absolutely adored Demyx. They didn't mind that he was a boy, they were just happy that Zexion had found someone he loved and who loved their precious little boy in return.

Demyx—for the first time in his life it seemed—was truly content with his life. He was finally able to take college courses without having to worry about paying for an apartment and also supply money for his ex's extensive party life. He didn't have to worry about a boring desk job and could finally look into pursuing a career in music. Nothing could go wrong right? Right?

He sure thought so.

He and Zexion were slowly but surely approaching their two-month anniversary and Demyx couldn't wait. Their first month anniversary had been wonderful. Zexion had taken him to the Cirque de Sole show "O" which took place mostly in water; Demyx's next favorite thing after his boyfriend and his music. It had been a complete surprise, but the best kind. He was going to surprise Zexion this time. He had finally managed to get a slot of time to play his guitar at a local restaurant and ever since, he had been working on a special song he had written for Zexion. He had poured his heart into it and couldn't wait to see the look on his boyfriends face when he heard it. The thought alone was enough to make butterflies flap around in his stomach.

He was so absorbed in his plans for the perfect anniversary, he didn't realize what other date was looming closer with each passing day.

The three-month anniversary of his break-up with Axel.

Though _he _ may have forgotten, a certain slate haired man had not.

Zexion knew the day was coming, and quickly. The first anniversary had been horrible. It had been the first time that Demyx cut. The second was still rough, but much better. Though Demyx had just wanted to stay in bed all day, Zexion had refused to let him, telling him that he would just feel worse if he was allowed to wallow. So Zexion had taken him to an amusement park. Sure enough, Demyx quickly forgot about the boy who had broken him and the two had ended up staying until it closed.

Zexion knew that this time it would be even better. Demyx hadn't really reacted to the upcoming date at all. It was almost as if he had forgotten the red head completely. Not that Zexion was complaining. Axel didn't deserve to be in the blonde's precious thoughts.

The date was fast approaching and Zexion could only hope for the best and wait as it loomed toward them.

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That fateful day finally arrived and Zexion was relieved to note that Demyx didn't seem to realize it. In fact, it seemed he forgot about it and would have remained in this oblivious state had Zexion not come into his room that morning.

"Demyx? Are you awake?"

"Hmm?" Demyx opened his eyes and yawned cutely, looking around his room with a confused expression.

Zexion chuckled and sat on the ground beside the bed so his head was level with Demyx's.

"What time does your class start today?" he asked, absently petting the other boy's hair.

"Um, I think around ten. Ish. Maybe?" he answered, his eyes falling shut at he leaned into his boyfriends caress. He really did love it when Zexion played with his hair. "You?"

"I have to leave pretty soon. My first class starts at seven and I have another class and lab after but I will be back by three. If you need anything, or want me to come home, just call me."

Demyx opened his eyes and looked at his companion quizzically. "Why would I need anything Zexy?" he asked, thoroughly confused.

"You really don't remember do you?" Zexion was shocked. The blonde had been torn up about this breakup and now he couldn't even recall the date.

"Remember wha-. Oh. The breakup?" he asked, finally coming out of his tired stupor.

"Yeah. I just thought you would want to know someone is there for you."

Demyx felt his lips turn up in a small grin. "Thanks, Zexy. But I'm fine. Axel is all but forgotten." He got out of his bed and sat beside the slate haired boy in the floor, sniggling into his side. "Really. I could care less about him. All I care about is you." To prove his point, Demyx leaned over to place a soft kiss to Zexion's warm lips. The contact lasted only a second, but that didn't make it any less powerful.

Demyx smiled, a light in his dancing to an unheard melody. "I'm perfectly fine. You go to your class, and I'll go to mine. Then, we'll hang around here the rest of the night and have a movie marathon. Kay?"

Zexion shook his head slightly in amusement. When he looked back up at his blonde and saw the smile on his face and burning honesty in his eyes, he knew he was telling the truth. He really was fine.

"Alright. A movie marathon it is." He leaned in to capture the blonde's lips one more time, Demyx happily returning the gesture.

All too soon, Zexion pulled back. "I better go if I want to make it on time," he mumbled. Demyx grinned at his boyfriend, and snuggled into his neck one more time.

"I love you," he whispered softly.

Zexion smiled into Demyx's fluffy hair and hugged him close.

"Love you too."

He gently pushed Demyx back and stood. He walked to the door and with a final glance over his shoulder, exited the room. Demyx sighed and stood as well. He was too awake to go back to bed but he still had three and a half hours until his class started, and he had nothing to do. Sighing, again, he tidied his bed up and padded softly out of his room, bent on making himself an extravagant breakfast.

A full two minutes later, Demyx arrived in the massive kitchen. He still was getting used to living in Zexion's family's mansion. Both of Zexion's parents were world-renowned lawyers, very successful world-renowned lawyers at that. They had gladly welcomed him into their home and given his rights to all of it, meaning Demyx could make use of their fabulous kitchen whenever he wanted to, and he never let any chance pass him up.

Demyx began gathering all the materials and ingredients he would need for his culinary masterpiece. He had barely cracking the needed eggs, when he heard the doorbell ring.

'That's weird,' he though. 'Everyone knows Zexion is at class and his parents are at their firm. Who would be calling at this hour?'

His internal question was soon answered as a man only slightly older than himself came barreling into the kitchen, followed closely by a disgruntled butler.

"Sir! Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to have me introduce you?"

"Do you ever quit! I come here often enough. You don't have to introduce me every fucking time!"

Demyx chuckled from his place behind the counter as the butler stared at the raven-haired man in shock. Said dark haired man turned an exasperatedly pleading look at the blonde chef.

"Dem. Please get rid of him!"

Demyx shook his head slightly.

"Its alright, Timothy. I can see it's just Xigbar. You may leave."

The tall man bowed slightly at Demyx.

"Of course Master Demyx. As you wish."

The man turned on the heel of his polished shoes and clacked off down the hall. Once he was out of earshot, the man, Xigbar, slumped into the nearest bar stool and shot a grateful look at Demyx.

"Thanks man. Honesty, I don't know how you deal with them."

"Sometimes I don't know either," the blonde laughed. "To what do I owe the pleaser, Xig?"

"What?" Xigbar asked, fixing the tall blonde with an innocent look. "Can't a guy visit his friend without having an ulterior motive?"

Demyx chuckled and picked up his mixing bowl with the eggs in it and a whisk. "Not you, Xig. I've known you for ten years. You never visit someone unless there is something in it for you, or you are feeling exceptionally kind. And you never feel that kind at…" Demyx glanced at the clock mounted on a nearby wall, "Six fifty-two in the morning."

Xigbar held his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, so you caught me. I actually come bearing interesting news; though I don't know if it is necessarily good or not."

Warily, Demyx set down his cooking utensils and whipped his hands off on a paper towel. He padded around the counter and sat beside his friend.

"What do you mean, Xigbar?"

"Well, it has to do with… Axel."

"Oh, is that all?" Demyx chuckled softly. "Jeez, what is with everyone and thinking that I'll break if someone so much as mentions his name. I'm fine."

"Well, it not just him. It has to do with Roxas too."

"So?" Demyx asked tiredly, raising his eyebrows at his friend. "Does all this have a point that concerns me at _all_?"

"I was getting there, you idiot, if you would just let me finish." Much to his relief, Demyx remained quiet and in his seat.

"Now granted I don't know all the details, since it was Axel who told Luxord who told Xaldin who told me this morning an-"

"XIGBAR! The point!"

Xigbar breathed out once and continued.

"He and Roxas broke up last night. Er, rather, Roxas, apparently, sexed him up and then just walked out saying Axel just wasn't cutting it anymore and that he had found someone else. Some guy named Marluxia or something equally gay. No offense to you or anyone else for that mater."

"None taken," Demyx replied, thoroughly interested. "It's about time someone gave him a taste of his own medicine."

"You say that now," the older man said dryly.

"What? There's more?"

"'Fraid so, Blondie. See, apparently, Axel came to the conclusion that he never really loved Roxas and that he actually still loved you-"

"As if he ever did," Demyx snorted.

"As I was saying," Xigbar said, his voice cutting through Demyx like a knife. The guy meant business. "He told Luxord that he actually was still in love with you and that he would do whatever it took to get you back."

"Did it ever occur to him that I don't feel that way anymore and that I have actually moved on?"

"Of course not. Since when did that bastard ever think of anyone else beside himself? I'm just telling you this so you can watch yourself. It wont take him long to figure out that you are going out with Zex and then he'll be here, harassing you until you do something about it."

Demyx nodded. He understood. Axel never thought about whom he hurt if it meant he was getting what he wanted. It wasn't that he wanted Demyx out of love. That in and of itself was laughable. No. He wanted Demyx for kicks and for control. He wanted something to toy with, a prize, and something to show that he had the power.

Suddenly, Demyx's face contorted in fear. "You don't think he'll try and hurt Zexion do you?" he asked, pure terror saturating his voice.

"Xigbar shook his head, causing his long ponytail to swing. "No, I don't think it will come to that. But you should probably tell Zexion so he can be on his guard just in case. We are all more worried about what he could do to you."

This stopped Demyx in is worried tracks. Himself? He hadn't really thought about something as trivial as that. True, Axel had physically hurt him in the past when he didn't feel Demyx was giving him all that he had, and he was sure he would do it again.

"Thanks for the concern," he said, "but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. When I get back from class today, I'll tell that guards at the gate not to let him in. Then all should be fine."

Xigbar smiled and clapped a hand on the musicians shoulder. "Good. Well, I'll be going then. I need to get to the shooting range. Can't get a perfect aim without practice. And if anything happens with Axel, just tell me and I'll have someone at the station look into it."

Demyx nodded, grateful for his friend's support. Xigbar was a cadet at the police station, training at the police academy while getting on the job experience. He showed real promise and his skills with a gun were almost unparalleled.

"Thanks, Xig."

Xigbar saluted him with two fingers and saw himself out.

Demyx leaned back on his stool, reclining against the unforgiving marble counter. So Axel was after him again? This could pose a problem and it wasn't one that Demyx wanted to deal with.

Shrugging, Demyx hopped of the seat and went back to fixing his breakfast, rolling Xigbar's words around in his head. He was fairly sure Axel would stop at nothing to get his prize and Demyx had to be ready for it. He wasn't about to become Axel's plaything again and he vowed not to let others get hurt because of his own defiance.

'Okay Demyx,' he thought to himself, 'you have made your vow, now, how will you see it through?'

End Chapter Four

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**yeah, not my best but what can you do. the dear old brain is fried with studying.**

**so, something of a small plot has appeared! good grief! what will happen now! only me and one other individual know!!! mwahahah- *hackcoughhack* **

**anyway, please review and tell me if you find any errors at all, i didnt really edit this all that well, (at all). i hope you guys aren't to disappointed. and i hope to update soon. of you check on my profile, i want to get this done by the end of the month and get my attention back on Two Roads Diverge... which, if anyone is interested.... is in some serious need of love. just putting it out there. **

**until next time my dears! **

**REVIEWERS GET SEA SALT ICE CREAM!! IN THE SHAPE OF A PAUPU! **


	5. Too Late To Save

*EDITED* (somewhat)

**wow. i live. i really do. IM BACK! so yeah. sorry i have been gone for a few months but this did not want to be written. and i just had complete writers block pertaining to anything. but im back now!!! and this is even a longer chapter! four thousand words. i hope that makes up for it! please dont hate me for this chapter. im sorry in advance. **

**disclaimer~ not mine. never will be mine. leave me alone. **

**and review responses! **

**amber~ not quite everything has happened to me. but some has. the cutting, thats happened to me. my friends telling me that they will always be there and that its stupid, that happened. its actually what inspired me to write this. it was right after i was having suicide thoughts and i was like, this is so stupid. so i wrote to release some feelings and it turned into a fanfic. and no matter what i write, i try to get inside the heads of the characters to make it as believable as i can. ;) but yeah, im fine now! no worries. **

**so with that said, lets get going! **

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Chapter Five: Too Late To Save

"—and that concludes our class for today. By next week, please have a ten-page research project on the music movement of the Renaissance completed and bring it to class. You are dismissed."

Demyx hastily stuffed his notebook into his messenger bag, haphazardly throwing his pens in after it. He stood from his seat with a furrowed brow and quickly left the classroom. He stared at his feet, the very image of defeat and hopelessness, as he slowly made his way to his small car.

Nothing. In the hours before his class and the two and a half hours spent _inside _his class, he had not been able to think of one full proof method for keeping everyone he loved safe. He knew that things would be harder for Axel once he told the guards not to let him in, but Axel was a conniving bastard and he always found a way to get what he wanted.

Demyx turned the key in the ignition and the car rolled out of the parking lot. 'Why did this have to happen,' he thought despairingly to himself. 'Things were going great, and then he had to show back up and ruin it. What? Am I not allowed to be happy?'

The short drive back to his house was one filled with long, twisting thoughts and empty conclusions. Short of a restraining order, Demyx could think of nothing that would keep the headstrong redhead away from the people Demyx loved.

The blonde was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't even realize he had driven in the gate to the mansion until he was in front of the main entrance. 'Oh well,' he thought. 'I can call down and tell them about Axel as soon as I get in.'

Removing his key from the ignition and pulling himself out of the car, Demyx smiled, thinking of the day ahead of him. It was just after twelve o'clock, meaning Demyx could fix himself a wonderful lunch and finish his homework before Zexion came home, giving them all night for a movie marathon.

He walked up the stone steps to the large double door, grinning warmly when Timothy opened the door for him and made to take his bag.

"Its okay, Timothy. I got it. Why don't you take a break for the rest of the day? You haven't had one in a while and I'm sure Jessica would be glad to see you," Demyx offered. He felt bad that Timothy had to work all the time and barely ever got to see his sister, Jessica. She had been in a horrible car accident six years ago and was confined to a wheelchair. The two were extremely close and Demyx loved to give them a chance to be together. And it wasn't like he was going against Zexion's parents by letting their butler take a day off. Being the little sneak that he was, Demyx had heard them talking about it in the study when he had walked by on his way to his room. Really, he was just helping them.

"Thank you master Demyx. I think I shall. He went to a small closet by the door and took out a pair of keys belonging to his car. "I shall return by five this evening, if you be so kind as to tell everyone else."

"It's cool. Just go and have fun."

Timothy gave a small bow before turning to the door. He paused for a moment and turned back to face the younger man. "I almost forgot. You have a visitor waiting for you in the living room. He didn't give a name but he said he was an old friend. In fact, he arrived here only a few minutes before you did."

"Thank you," Demyx said, waving. "Have a nice time!"

Timothy gave one last bow before walking out the door. Demyx locked it before taking the short walk to the living room. Who would be visiting him at this time? Most of his friends had classes right now, or they were eating lunch on campus. Frowning, Demyx approached the arched entryway. He stopped just under the arch and what he saw made his blood freeze in his veins.

A haughty grin, a lithe figure that Demyx knew was much stronger than it appeared. Cat shaped, malachite eyes that burned with a passion that could only be named as lust and greed stared at him from under short, red eyebrows. A predator's grin chilled his heart while the flaming red hair sent out a warning the clearly read "Stay Away".

Demyx tried to back away but found himself glued to the spot, transfixed by the others gaze. He tried to scream but found his voice had been whisked away. He could do nothing but watch as the figure stood and stalked over to his prey, his grin growing more and more malicious with every step. Demyx's eyes widened in terror as the man brought a spidery finger up to trace the cowering boys face. His skin burned where it touched, before turning icy in fear.

"Hello Demyx," Axel whispered in his ear. "Miss me?"

Demyx flinched away from the words, his brain still attempting to process what was happening. What was Axel doing here? Or worse, who had he hurt to get here?

Axel brought his other hand up so he could cup Demyx's face with both hands. "Well," he asked, peering into the frightened blondes eyes. Demyx tried to turn his face away from the searing eyes, only to find that he couldn't.

"Speechless," Axel cooed sinisterly. "I do tend to have that effect on people."

"Wh-what a-are you d-doing here?" Demyx managed to stutter.

Axel laughed, a dark sound, lacking all mirth, containing only mal intent. He grabbed Demyx's wrists and pushed him against the wall, pinning his arms above Demyx's fluffy, golden hair.

"Does a guy need a reason to come see the man he loves?" he asked into Demyx's ear. Demyx trembled as Axel pressed closer, one arm relinquishing its hold on Demyx's thin arm. That same sneaky arm roamed freely along Demyx's body, making the boy feel dirtier with every passing second.

"You never loved me," he ground out.

Axel chuckled and reached up to run his fingers along Demyx's jaw, stopping to cup his chin. Against his will, Demyx felt himself sigh and his body shivered in pleasure.

He hated himself for it.

"Do you really believe that? Do you really believe that I never loved you?"

Demyx opened his mouth to retort but never got the chance. The moment his lips parted, Axel swooped down and forced his lips onto Demyx's, immediate plunging his tongue into Demyx's mouth. He pressed himself flush against Demyx, prohibiting him from moving or throwing him off.

Demyx tried to turn his face away, but the hand on his chin held him fast; he was helpless to do anything but stand there and let Axel do what he would.

A jolt of fear shot through his body when he realized the hand that had been holding his arms above his head had abandoned its post and was trailing down his body, stopping at the waistband of his pants. He brought his arms down and pushed against the taller mans shoulders, fighting desperately to push him off. Axel's impossibly green eyes snapped open and bored into his.

"There is something I have wanted to do to you for a long time," he hissed into Demyx's ear. His tongue flicked out and ran down the edge of his lobe. Demyx felt his hatred towards himself grow even more as he struggled to bite back the moan burning in his throat.

A dark grin spread across the redheads face and he pressed himself closer feeling most satisfied when the blonde before his shivered and slumped, powerless against the wall.

Demyx closed his eyes as Axel's hand fingered the waistband of his jeans but they snapped open when he felt Axel unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He immediately stiffened.

"Axel…s-stop…" he stuttered. He lowered his hands and tried to push Axel off but was thwarted when Axel trapped his hands again. Demyx felt his heart racing with fear as he thought of what Axel was going to do to him and a one tear danced down his cheek. He hoped with everything that was in him that Zexion would not come home and see him like this.

"Stop what?" the Axel asked. He slipped his hand past Demyx's jeans and boxers making the blonde whimper pathetically. "Why should I stop when you are obviously enjoying it so much?"

It was true. Demyx knew it and he loathed it. He knew his body was reacting to Axel's ministrations and he cursed himself to the lowest level of Hell. He loved Zexion. Axel meant nothing to him yet here he was, acting as a play toy to the lowest form of man he could imagine. Hot tears pricked at his eyes and he felt such hatred burning in his chest that his vision went red.

His bright blue eyes darkened and narrowed and he pulled his arms from Axel's strong grasp.

"Let go of me you bastard!" he cried. He put all his strength into a hard shove against Axel's chest. He brought a wrist back to throw a punch at the disgusting man before him, but before he could land the blow, his wrist was caught and pulled behind his back.

"You wanna play rough? If you wish."

Axel reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a roll of duct tape. Shoving his supposed "love" to the floor, he bound his wrist and taped his mouth shut.

"I'm sorry Demyx," he said wickedly at Demyx's enraged face. "As much a I love your voice, I could do without the, _hurtful, _remarks."

"You wont get away with this," Demyx tried to growl. However, due to the tape, it came out more, 'Oo mph gff ava mph viff.'

Dark jade eyes seared into Demyx's, promising to haunt his memories for the rest of his life and a malicious smirk skirted over his face. A spear of ice lodged itself in Demyx's chest and his heart raced with more fear than he had felt in a long time. His cold blue eyes grew impossibly wide as Axel leaned over him.

"Oh, I think I will."

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Demyx was in agony. He hurt everywhere. He hurt more than he ever had. He pulled the soiled blankets around him and buried himself into his pillow. Axel had gone outside for a minute after finishing with him. Demyx had no idea what he was doing and he prayed it had nothing to do with him.

Demyx rolled onto his back and winced. Axel had been rough, but not only that; he had toyed with him more than ever. He could feel a shiner forming over his left eye, he could swear he had at least one cracked rib, a sprained wrist from when Axel jerked the tape bindings off and he could feel bruises blossoming over his whole body.

Axel had gotten, well, angry was an understatement, enraged when Demyx had refused to tell him that he loved him. His spidery fingers had ripped the tape off his mouth and the red haired man demanded that the smaller blonde tell him he loved him. Demyx remembered the feeling of triumph that had sailed through him when he had glared into Axel's eyes and said that he could never love anyone but Zexion, least of all, Axel.

Axel's eyes had turned a flat green, almost black, and he had dared Demyx to say it again. Demyx had allowed a slow grin to fall over his face and had said it again. He loved Zexion, and always would.

Turns out, that was the wrong thing to say and Axel had made him pay for it in blood, sweat and tears but he wouldn't take it back for the world.

The blonde man was brought back to the painful present with the sound of his door opening… and the sight that greeted him made his blood stop in his veins. Standing in the door was Axel, shirtless and wearing a smirk. But that wasn't the worst thing. Clutched in his right hand, gleaming sinister silver was a slender knife from the kitchen.

Demyx scuttled back on his bed in a mad attempt to melt right through the wall.

Axel stalked into the room, each step amplifying the sound of Demyx's pounding heart. He raised the knife, fingering the tip delicately.

"This is it Demyx. You made your choice. If you wont love me and if I cant love you, no one can."

Demyx pushed his aching body back as far as it would go, and it would never be far enough. Axel was walking forward with the look of a predator that would not be deterred; only death would keep him from reaching his prey.

"W-what are you d-d-doing? Axel? Axel!"

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Zexion breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled into his driveway. He had been worried about Demyx all day. He had no idea when Axel would show up next and he wanted to make sure Demyx was safe at all times.

He walked up to the door and was shocked to see Timothy wasn't answering the door, however the shock didn't last long. He figured his parents had let him take a day off; he hadn't had one in a while.

Just as his hand touched the doorknob, a hoarse shout nearly jolted him out of his skin.

"Axel!"

A shrill scream soon followed, almost breaking Zexion's heart.

"Demyx!" he shouted. He fumbled with the doorknob and threw the door open, stumbling into the entrance hall. Another scream echoed through the halls, freezing Zexion's blood. He ran in the direction the scream came from, stopping in front of Demyx's room.

A third, anguished scream was all the incentive the shorter man needed to throw himself at the door. Thankfully it wasn't locked and it flew open sending a stumbling Zexion sailing in on a scene he had hoped he would never have to see.

There was Demyx, the boy he had come to love so much, lying completely naked on a soiled and blood-bathed bed… with a very satisfied looking Axel looming over him holding the black hilt of a knife; a knife embedded in Demyx's chest.

Axel's face stretched into a feral grin as he looked up at Zexion. When he saw the look of pure horror on the slate haired man's head, his eyes grew bright and his lips curled savagely. His hand gripped the hilt of the knife tighter and he slowly began twisting it, still sheathed in the blonde's chest.

Demyx screamed. His body arched off the bed and his eyes squeezed shut attempting but failing to keep his tears from spilling.

Zexion was frozen in place, his hand outstretched towards his boyfriend, his mouth frozen in a silent scream that would never be heard. As Axel kept twisting the knife, Demyx kept screaming, his voice getting hoarser and hoarser.

The sound terrified Zexion to his core.

It was a sound that should never come from a human. It was like an animal in the most cruel and excruciating pain possible. It brought hot tears to Zexion's eyes and forced a blade of ice through his heart.

It was ripping him apart at the seams.

As Demyx continued screaming and writhing, a fire swelled within Zexion giving him a strength he never knew he housed. With a roar of anger and hate he launched himself at Axel, knocking him off Demyx and onto the floor. While Axel was too stunned to move, Zexion pulled his arms back and punched the redheads pretty little face time and time again before he heard the satisfying sound of his nose breaking.

Crimson blood poured from Axel's nose as he pushed Zexion off, ramming him into the wall knocking his breath from his chest. Stumbling back over to the bed, he hunched over Demyx's now silent and pale body. He reached out and gripped the handle pulling it from Demyx's chest with a sickening squelching sound. Zexion pulled himself into a sitting position and glared at Axel enraged.

He struggled to stand and Axel turned and stalked toward him, brandishing the knife painted with Demyx's bright red blood.

"Would you like to join him?" Axel taunted, coming still closer. "Wanna join your precious lover boy in cold death?"

Zexion shook his head, his brows furrowing deeper in rage.

"He is not dead you bastard," he growled pulling himself into a standing position.

"Oh really?" Axel asked saucily. "You sure? He sure _looks_ dead to me."

Axel closed the distance between them in one long stride and grabbed his face. Despite Zexion's attempts to break loose, Axel dragged him over to the bed and Demyx's still form. "Look at him," he said, pushing Zexion's face just centimeters away from the blondes. "Look at him and then tell me if he's dead or not."

Try as he might, Zexion couldn't move his face or avert his gaze. He gave up after a minute and obeyed Axel's demands knowing he could do nothing until he complied.

What he saw made his want to throw up.

It was true. Demyx looked like death. His face was pale and drawn. The rest of his body looked no better, in fact, it was worse, much worse. He had three freely bleeding gashed is his chest and a larger, jagged wound from the twisted knife. His chest was bathed in blood and where there was no blood, Demyx's skin tanned skin was littered with dark bruises; the after-math of excessive beating.

Zexion breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw Demyx's chest move almost imperceptible, promising that there was life there. He whipped is face back to Demyx's and saw his eyes moving frantically under his lids. Not even the bliss of being unconscious could rid him of his pain.

Axel grabbed the shorter man's slate hair and yanked his head back, slamming it into Axel's toned chest.

"You see, he's dead. The little slut you tried so hard to protect died before your very eyes. Would you like to see him again?" he cooed into Zexion's ear. He lifted the bloodied knife and pressed the edge against his captive's smooth neck. "I can arrange it."

At that moment, Zexion snapped.

He thrust his arm back, thrusting his elbow into Axel's chest, right below his ribs, knocking him back. The knife flew from his hand and landed on the ground a few feet away. Zexion lunged for it, swiping it from the ground before turning around to try and locate Axel.

It didn't take him long to lock eyes with the man. Axel was doubled over, holding his stomach and glaring bullets at Zexion, his jade eyes burning with unrelenting hate and loathing fire.

With a scream of fury, Zexion threw himself at Axel knocking them both to the ground. He grinned when he heard the taller mans head crack against the floor. He pulled the knife up and rested the blade against his prey's pale neck. When Axel strained and tried to throw him off, he just pressed down on the knife, allowing a small trickle of scarlet blood to trail down Axel's neck.

Axel closed his eyes and laughed like a mad man. The sound was haunting and Zexion could feel his heart pounding in his chest. It missed a beat altogether when Axel's malachite eyes snapped open , wide and impossible bright.

"Are you going to kill me, Zexion?" he asked, a crazy grin sliding over his features. A sick laugh escaped his throat again as he repeated his question. "Are you really going to kill me? Do you have the guts?"

Shaking, Zexion pushed the blade harder against the others throat, effectively cutting off his sadistic laughter him. He stared right back at the lanky man beneath him, his icy blue eyes meeting his gaze dead on.

"Of course not," he said in a chilling tone, enjoying the way Axel was squirming under him. The movement caused the knife to bite deeper, turning the red trickle into an almost back river. "You deserve something much worse than death for everything you put Demyx through." With that, he lifted the knife from Axel's neck and turned it around so that the handle was facing his captive. He swung his arm, hard and fast, ramming the handle into the side of Axel's head, knocking him out quite nicely. As green eyes fluttered shut, he spat in Axel's general direction and stood.

"And I am going to make sure you get what you deserve."

With a final glare in Axel's direction, Zexion spun around and ran to Demyx's side, his fear returning. He threw himself down next to the blonde and put his ear on his chest. He released the breath he had been holding when he heard a heartbeat, albeit it was faint.

He dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, quickly flipping it open to call 911. It seemed like an eternity before the call connected and when it did, he frantically told the man who answered the phone everything that happened and begged for the police and an ambulance. The man promised to send one immediately and Zexion quickly recited his address, thanking the man before hanging up.

He ran his fingers through Demyx's limp hair, remembering how much the other man loved it when he playing with the soft golden strands.

"Dem? Demyx? I know you probably can't hear me, but you have to stay with me. An ambulance is coming and the police are on their way to get Axel. You just have to stay with me and get through this. You can't leave me, do you hear me, you can't!"

Zexion's voice was frantic by the time he got to the end if his speech. He looked up from Demyx's pained and bruised face before glaring over his shoulder. They didn't live that far from the hospital. Where was that damn ambulance!?

He heard a small gasp at his side and turned back to boy before him. Demyx's eyes fluttered open and his face twisted in a grimace, all the pain from the day flooding back, overflowing his senses.

"Z-Zexy?"

If he hadn't been kneeling right over Demyx, he would have missed that one precious word, it had been spoken so softly. He grabbed the blonde's uninjured hand in his and held it tight.

"I'm right here, Dem. Don't try to talk. Just lay still, help is coming." He tore his own light eyes away from Demyx's tortured face and looked down at Demyx's chest again. The sight only filled him with hate and pain. The wounds were all still bleeding, though maybe not as profusely as before. Demyx had lost way too much blood already. Where was that damn ambulance?!

Demyx shook his head slightly bringing his boyfriends eyes back to him. He struggled to get the words out of his mouth. Darkness was closing in on him again.

"Be quiet Demyx!" Zexion pleaded, tears choking him as he struggled to keep them at bay. "You have to just keep still. You need to get through this. I need you!"

Demyx weakly licked his lips and opened his mouth, his weak but necessary words flowing out.

"You'll be alright, Zexy. You're a strong person. Just keep looking forward. Don't look back." His voice faded at his last words, flying away like birds in the fall, just as soft as a down feather. "You'll be fine."

His sea green eyes fluttered shut and his chest stilled. Zexion stared at his loves face, the tears he had held back finally falling, landing on Demyx's silent chest.

"Demyx? Demyx! No! You can't do this to me! You can't! Wake up! Demyx!"

He threw his arms around his boyfriend, willing him to breathe again, willing him to wake up and look at him one more time with his pure eyes, willing him to laugh just one more time, willing him to live and just be.

When he was met with only silence, he screamed into Demyx's ruined chest, long and hard, pouring his pain and fear into his voice. So tortured were his screams, he missed the cry of sirens coming from outside his house.

To little to help. Too late to save.

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**and thats it. this is the last chapter. well, there will be and epilogue that i am planning as we speak. sorry if some of you guys hate me right now for what i did. please dont hate me or the story. anyway, please review!!! or flame. anything really. JUST PLEASE MAKE SURE ITS ABOUT THE STORY AND NOT ABOUT MY PERSONAL ISSUE THAT I MENTIONED AT THE BEGINNING. sure, you can say something about it in a review that HAS TO DO WITH THE STORY! **

**okay then, thats about all i have to say. i promise i wont take so long to get the epilogue up! but that is actually up to you! i wont put the epilogue up until i have at least five reviews on this chappy! just so i know if ppl like this story and want to see it finished. so, till then guys!  
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	6. Epilogue

**So the epilogue is finally here. i want to thank everyone who read this and who reviewed it of put it on alert or faved or whtever!! you guys are the reason i write this crap and i hope you enjoyed reading this. well, onward with the epilogue. i hope it is up to standards. **

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"Order! Order in the court!"

The judge banged her gavel on her stand, calling for silence in the courtroom.

She eyed everyone in the room before speaking again.

"We will now take a recess while the jury meets. Please stay within the walls of the courtroom until we are called together again. Dismissed."

Zexion sighed and leaned back into his chair. He could feel his mom wrap an arm around him from her seat to his right. He leaned into the embrace, seeking its comfort.

A month. A month to the day. A month to the day the Zexion had lost the single most important thing to him. His parents had used their power as lawyers to get a court hearing as fast as possible with his father representing Demyx, the boy Zexion had watched die in his arms.

Zexion's father had done his very best and knew there was no way that Axel would win. He had been charged with one account of rape and one account of first-degree murder as well as a few other minor charges and Zexion believed he deserved everything they did to the redhead.

Axel, on the other hand, looked strangely calm, sitting there in his new black suit. He was seated beside his cunning lawyer, a beetle-like looking woman with long, smooth black hair and large black eyes.

His mother was absent from the hearing but Roxas was seated in one of the back rows, next to Axel's burly father, a smirk on his face, clearly enjoying the mayhem surrounding him.

Zexion felt his own father kneel down next to his seat and put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, son. There is no way he can get away with any of what he's done. Not with the evidence we have."

Zexion nodded before leaning back into his mother.

The evidence. Oh God the evidence.

They had pictures of Demyx's body and the room he had been killed in, all in amazing high quality. They had a murder weapon and even the bloody sheets that had adorned the blonde's bed. It had been too much for Zexion to handle. He had been forced to go into the hallway to hyperventilate and try not to let his tears spill.

That wasn't even the worst part.

As a direct witness to the murder and aftermath of the rape, the slate haired man had been forced to give a testimony, reliving the horrifying experience again, like he had been for the past month. He had nearly dissolved on the spot and had fled the courtroom the moment he was able.

Demyx had been more than his boyfriend. He had been his best friend, his confidant, the one person who could always make him smile… and the loss of that had been like losing both his legs. He was left motionless, unable to go anywhere. He was left in the most pain he could ever remember. He was left with a ghostly sensation, the feeling that his blonde could walk into the room at any moment, smiling as happily as ever for no more reason than a bird chirped at him on the walk home.

It was such a pain that Zexion hoped Axel suffered the same. He hoped he would learn what it meant to lose everything, to feel as though you were lost in a place you knew the best, to feel as though you were alone in a crowd of people who loved you.

Suddenly, Zexion felt his mom stiffen beside him. He kept his eyes shut and leaned into his mother again, willing whomever it was to go away.

"What do you want?" his mother asked, her voice steely.

"Is it wrong to want to comfort someone who has lost a loved one?"

At that hard, sarcastic voice, Zexion's eyes snapped open and he jumped to his feet.

"Leave, Axel. Go talk to your pathetic boyfriend if you must talk, but do not put yourself near me."

"Oh, someone's a little touchy. What? You missing that wimp of a boyfriend?"

Before Zexion's brain could even register he was in a courtroom, he punched Axel smartly in the nose, mildly angry when it only turned bright red and there was no satisfying crunch.

Not satisfied, Zexion pulled his arm back, ready to land the breaking blow, when a strong hand caught his. He looked up and glared at his father, who was holding his arm back, a sad look in his blue eyes.

"Don't, Zex. It's not worth it. Remember where you are. You punch him again, you could be charged with battery. Think." His eyes turned gentle as he pushed his shaking son down into his chair, blocking his son's body from Axel's satisfied smirk. The bastard.

"Demyx wouldn't have wanted this. He wouldn't have wanted you to hurt anyone, even if it was for him. Remember what Demyx told you? Don't look back, just keep looking forward."

The memory of Demyx's last words, Zexion felt his tears come again. Silent sobs ripped through his body and he felt him mother wrap her arms around him and felt his father grip his shoulder.

"Sweetie, shh, just relax. Remember how much he loved you, he wouldn't want you to turn violent," his mother said in a calm, soothing voice.

Still shaking, Zexion forced a nod, and slowly straightened up. He leveled his gaze at the still smirking redhead and did the worst thing Axel could have imagined.

"I forgive you."

"W-what?" Axel stuttered. He took a step back and looked at Zexion, flabbergasted. Even Zexion's parents were staring at him in shock. As were several people around him. Ever since Axel had wandered over, a small crowd had gathered behind them.

"I forgive you," he said again, somewhat stronger. He lifted his chain, squared his shoulders and stood, somehow seeming to tower over Zexel despite being several inches shorter. His strength shadowed Axel, making him appear weak and lost.

"I may not like what you have done and every inch of me wants to hate you for it, to kill you and leave you in some ditch for the rats to find, but my parents are right. Demyx would not have wanted me to do that. He would have wanted me to forgive you, even after all the pain, the agony you put him through.

"He told me to go on with my life, to move forward and to never look back. And that is just what I am going to do. After the verdict is read, you will become nothing more than a passing thought. I wont think of you. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be forgotten within the pages of history, alone and hidden where no one knows who you are. And that is what you will get."

Zexion paused in his speech, acutely aware of the stares he was getting and the shocked whispers spreading throughout his small audience.

"So good luck, Axel. Good luck finding a place to fit in, good luck finding the love you wanted from him, the acceptance you tried to force out of him. Good luck finding that feeling that someone needed you there, that you meant the world to someone. I'm through with you."

With that Zexion sat down, and stared straight in front of him, burning holes into the front panel of the judges podium. His parents stared at him, mouths agape. They had never heard him say so much in one sitting. He was a quiet person, pensive even and didn't say things unless he felt they were extremely important.

That speech he had just given, it was heartfelt and true to the core. Zexion's parents smiled to each other and returned to their seats. A sheriff came to return Axel to his and the crowd slowly dissolved.

"I'm proud of you, sweetie, so proud," Zexion's mother whispered in her son's ear. However, as strong, as brave as Zexion was, she could still see how much he was hurting. Only she could see the wet glistening of tears left unshed in his cold eyes, only she could see his jaw working to choke back a sob, only she could see the slight tremors that shook his rigid body.

Stiffly, he nodded, keeping his gaze right in front of him.

Stiff chatter filled the room as the time crept by, first a half an hour, then an hour. As each minute passed, each feeling like a century, Zexion and his family got more tense, each wondering what could be taking so long.

The chatter in the room had slowly grown to a dull buzz as comfortable conversation had broken out amongst most people in the courtroom. Even Axel's lawyer seemed to be chatting with him, coaching him more likely just to keep him mouth shut.

When the door finally opened and the entire room fell silent and watched as the jury filed into the room and returned to their seats.

The judge called for order and the room returned to their seats. Zexion stiffened in his seat and chanced a glace at Axel. It seemed that for the first time, the man was actually nervous, if his twiddling thumbs and worried lip were any indication.

The judges voice range out through the room.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"

The jury foreman, a man with calm blue eyes and a gentle face stood an faced the judge.

"Yes, we have your honor."

"You may proceed then."

"Thank you." He lifted his clipboard and carefully read what was written on it.

"For the charge of assault and battery of a Mr. Zexion Stewart, we, the jury, find the defendant guilty. For the charge of rape of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, we, the jury, find the defendant guilty. For the charge of assault and battery of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, we, the jury, find the defendant guilty. For the charge of murder of the first degree of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, we, the jury, find the defendant guilty. For the charge of breaking and entering into the home of a Mr. and Mrs. Richard Stewart, we, the jury, find the defendant guilty. That is all."

With all of the charges being read, the foreman sat in his seat and all eyes turned to the judge, save for one.

Zexion's gaze found Axel, who was sitting in his chair in what seemed to be a state of shock. The slate haired man felt a satisfied grin cover his face.

Justice was served.

The man who had ruined his life had gotten what he deserved.

The room took another recess as the judge left to discuss what the sentence would be. The sheriff came and placed handcuffs on Axel's wrists and shackled his feet together, a grim look on his face. Axel's lawyer was once again whispering fiercely to him but Zexion couldn't find himself caring.

He was going to forget the redheaded demon. He would walk forward, striving to be the person Demyx had seen him as. Sure, there would always be an empty ache in his heart that he was sure nothing could ever fill, but he would cope, he would survive.

He was jerked back into reality as the judge walked back into the room. She took her seat and began to read from the file before her.

"I hereby sentence the defendant, Axel Rodgers, to 18 months in prison for the charge of the assault of Mr. Zexion Stewart, 18 months in prison for the assault of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, 5 months in prison for the charge of breaking and entry into the home or Mr. and Mrs. Richard Stewart, thirteen years in prisons for the rape of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, and for the charge of murder of the first degree of the deceased Mr. Demyx Wright, two consecutive sentences of life in prison without parole.

"This court is now adjourned." The judge banged her gavel, packed up her multitude of files and left the room through the door behind her podium.

The room erupted into chatter, congratulating Zexion's family and sending scathing looks Axel's way. The redhead had seemed to shrink; he seemed almost childlike, sitting in his chair, a look of absolute terror on his face. A burly read haired man came up and started to talk to him in a stern and dangerously quiet voice. His father.

Zexion was bursting from relief. The villain had gotten what he deserved. He would suffer and that was good enough for him.

He hugged his mother and kissed her cheek, before embracing his dad as well.

"Thanks, Dad," he said, pulling away from his dad.

"Are you going to go home, sweetie?" his mother asked, worryingly pushing his hair off his face.

"Yeah," he nodded, gently pushing his mother's hand away. The gently gesture only reminded him of when Demyx used to do the same thing, lovingly looking into both of his boyfriend's ice blue eyes.

"Be careful driving home son. We'll be there in a few hours."

Zexion nodded and let his mother kiss his cheek one last time before leaving the building.

He shielded his eyes against the brilliant winter sunlight outside the courthouse as he tried to make his way to his car. The moment he had opened the door, he had been bombarded by reporters and photographers, all asking questions he didn't want to answer.

The case had become the major news story in their county and the reporters were doing anything to get a story. Zexion's parents had haired police to keep the reporters away from their house so they could have some peace.

"No comment," he muttered at the reporter who shoved his mic into his face. With the help of a police officer, Zexion finally made his way to his car and out of the parking lot.

He rolled his window down and let the crisp wind blow on his face. Demyx had loved the wind. He had said he could hear music in it if he listened hard enough. Zexion closed his eyes briefly and inhaled the cool air before focusing on the road again.

He couldn't hear the music just yet, but he was sure, one day, he would hear Demyx's music floating through the wind, brightening the colors around him and encouraging a smile to dance on his face once more.

Someday.

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**well there ya have it. i hope you liked it and were satisfied with the ending! and even if you didnt like it, tell me in a review! good reviews are always nice and flames are welcome as well because i think they are funny! ^.^ **

**so tell me what you think. and i hope you stick around! **


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